within days of returning to leicester i had compromised my plans of moving in december.
it looks like the easiest thing for me to do is stay a little bit homeless in the new year and just house hop between shifts until march, then go home for a month before canada.
perhaps i had too much diet pepsi when i felt optimistic about this plan... lets see how i feel about it tomorrow when i am tired.
i am certainly not happy with myself at the moment but it would be unfair to insinuate that i was terribly unhappy either. i go through fairly regular stages of absolutley hating myself and feeling very much trapped in my own body to feeling as though i am not in it at all, which at best keeps me occupied.
my life isnt bad. in fact, i count my blessings all the time. i just dont spend enough time with the people who make it worth living.
comes with everything you see here
- two queens
- I am an awkwardly complex girl with very little mystery looking for the right person to shut me up. I get bored of popular culture but I like to study it. I wish I was significant and attractive... and not so shallow that I wished this. I really like cats, dreams, writing letters, big trees and little trees (broccoli.) I can play carmen on the kazoo, I have yet to find use for this. Thats about it.
You're a working girl. I'm finding my time being consumed by this whole 'job' thing, so it can be difficult getting to those I want to be around. One Claire I know is now my co-worker at Odeon, so I guess that's not bad.
ReplyDeleteOhh gosh Claire, I've had many thoughts that feel absolutely wonderful - yet 12 hours later it's either reality or some close relative of it sinking it, letting me know that it's maybe not such a great idea.
But you seem to have picked yourself a good outlook - counting blessings can work. Let's not get too cynical to miss what we have in front of us x x
i relate to the way you feel about yourself very much
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