gosh

today was absolutley lovely.

the sun has finally come out again and provided perfect weather for basking on a rock outside the university, smoking roll ups and chatting to all manners of friendly passers by.

i even looked after charlie the dog for a few minutes.

with all my hangovers, i get a period of grinning immensely and feeling really warm and pleased about everything, and although it often follows with shakes and anxiety, it was nice to feel so happy and content with everything.

plus, kissing occured the night before...


he was from liverpool and people call me "fairyworld." it wouldve been a lost opportunity not to sing "fairy...'cross the mersey..."

i know this is innapropriate for the internet, but i dont give a shit. have you seen the rest of the world wide web? (its hardly 2g1c now is it.) i could do a lot worse than a drunken kiss.

everything is temporary

im so lazy with my addictions.

at this moment in time it is hard to imagine a time when i didnt go more than 24 hours without a drink (i rarely find time to drink now)
but it is equally hard to remember how on earth i gave up smoking last year.

i have given up three times this year already, and i know it is better to be healthy and miss it, but right now i dont have time to go outside and forget myself by running through the meadows or drinking in the streets.

smoking on a rainy doorstep is my only current getaway. momentarily it substitutes being around everyone in the picture.


i long for a time when i can holiday again,

i want ghent 2009 back,

i want to play in paris,

i want to surf in cornwall.
The other day i noticed that i am rarely homesick for cheshire anymore and i think this is because the time when i leave leicester for good to go back there temporarily is shrinking right before my eyes so now i am trying to hold on very tightly to something which i spent a lot of time over the summer trying to escape. funny, that.

i would like christmas to hurry back soon...

"claire, sometimes i think i just made you up"

yesterday i finally had 16 hours lying in bed in my cheshire bedroom to read "the perks of being a wallflower" by stephen chbosky. it is the first time for many years that i have done any of the above, and it was lovely. finally, i read a book that listened to me.

the other night i spent the early hours of the morning watching the extras on the mary poppins dvd. there was some video and sound extracts from the premiere and it was fascinating and really quite magical to watch... nobody seemed real. julie andrews is such a gracious swan, i love everything i know about her.

two christmas miracles: rage against the machine got to number one... i ate my weight in sin and lost half a stone.

quiet little fireworks

i would really quite like a cigarette.
i dont need one i guess, i just think i do.
i have already looked all over the house twice, and even though i know there arent any, i will still keep looking.