at this moment in time it is hard to imagine a time when i didnt go more than 24 hours without a drink (i rarely find time to drink now)
but it is equally hard to remember how on earth i gave up smoking last year.
i have given up three times this year already, and i know it is better to be healthy and miss it, but right now i dont have time to go outside and forget myself by running through the meadows or drinking in the streets.
smoking on a rainy doorstep is my only current getaway. momentarily it substitutes being around everyone in the picture.
i long for a time when i can holiday again,
i want ghent 2009 back,i want to play in paris,
i want to surf in cornwall.
The other day i noticed that i am rarely homesick for cheshire anymore and i think this is because the time when i leave leicester for good to go back there temporarily is shrinking right before my eyes so now i am trying to hold on very tightly to something which i spent a lot of time over the summer trying to escape. funny, that.
i would like christmas to hurry back soon...