i watched a video of dad spinning me round with his hands, me squealing like an excited piggy to altered images aged 2 in the living room. when he watched it he probably felt sad too that i am grown up now.
then i watched one of grandma. she picked me up and held me close and gave me a cuddle. she has been dead for 15 years and i didnt even remember her voice. i got as sad as ive been for a while but this time i cried.
then i fell asleep and dreamed earthquakes and swimming and shattered glass and deep baths.
but i also saw my friends back in cheshire floating around inside my head and when i opened my eyes i was at home.