are you the sort of woman
who wears make up when you sleep?
does the sight of lipstick on his collar
make you want to weep?
did you realise he was just
another boring metaphor
when he shouted you are perfect
and whispered for a whore...?
is his beauty really wonderful
or carved trouble deep?
did you notice when he said
i do not want you 'till you're cheap
did you think he wouldn't look at you
until he saw your ribs?
did you think perhaps he'd love you
if you tried to shrink your hips?
when he smiles does it hurt
because he paralysed your lips?
will it ruin his career
if you choose to sink these ships?
when you slip your fingers down your throat
do you think of him?
did he let you tell yourself
that nothing tastes as good
as being thin?
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
its not like i am one
as i sat cross-legged on the floor of the humanities corridor outside my tutors room, i opened my book and shamefully felt every inch the annoying, pretentious student who acted like she wanted everybody to know what she was reading and why.
this was until two girls sat down outside another door, and began discussing their essay in the irritating multi-reigonal yaryaryarlike student accent that spreads like a disease over campuses across the country each year.
"i was gonna like, do about like, women but then like, i thought it would be a bad idea cos like, i dont really know much about it and stuff... like."
i lifted my copy of "the female eunuch" to cover my face and wished it would cover my ears too.
this was until two girls sat down outside another door, and began discussing their essay in the irritating multi-reigonal yaryaryarlike student accent that spreads like a disease over campuses across the country each year.
"i was gonna like, do about like, women but then like, i thought it would be a bad idea cos like, i dont really know much about it and stuff... like."
i lifted my copy of "the female eunuch" to cover my face and wished it would cover my ears too.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
"when you grow up, your heart dies" -ally sheedy, the breakfast club
to aid the childrens writing assignment i have spent a lot of time watching movies about teenagers in high school because the part of me that felt things strongly and remembers what it was like to be one has conveniently packed its bags and left just when i needed it most.
this photo was taken at the entrance of school.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
has died
death on facebook is such an odd thing, it really unnerves me.
i found out someone i was friends with had died through facebook two years ago while i was in a room full of people and it was awful.
i saw a "RIP" profile tonight and went on the page of the girl who had died as i didnt know her but we had a lot of mutual friends so i figured that she was someone from home.
she was pretty and young and her passing has obviously had a huge impact on people, but the thing that sent shivers down my spine was a set of pictures "updated a week ago."
rest in peace alice.
i found out someone i was friends with had died through facebook two years ago while i was in a room full of people and it was awful.
i saw a "RIP" profile tonight and went on the page of the girl who had died as i didnt know her but we had a lot of mutual friends so i figured that she was someone from home.
she was pretty and young and her passing has obviously had a huge impact on people, but the thing that sent shivers down my spine was a set of pictures "updated a week ago."
rest in peace alice.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
I have to admit, I had high hopes for Germaine Greer.
I heard that she was an excellent public speaker and know just enough about her extensive career to appreciate the effect she has had without being able to form an overly educated opinion on her.
Germaine certainly has a way of captivating the audience. Even within a full room with compromised air conditioning and menopausal temperatures, all eyes were on her. Her talk, White and Black in Australia could have become a rant; instead it was an educated, thought-provoking and at times extremely moving account of the problems aborigines face in Australia. Admittedly, it would not be something I would ever think of researching, partly because I was unaware of the issues surrounding it. Germaine Greer brought the talk alive, with perfect timing and expression, and the sort of steamroller passion that I fear has died out in my generation. She did a wonderful job of sincerely exposing her subject matter with insightful knowledge and as expected, sharp wit. Towards the end of the talk I had to swallow my tears... "I think we have missed the boat" was far too poignant for anyone to dismiss. As she famously said herself, “words stay in there forever” and I don’t think anyone will forget White and Black in Australia.
What equally impressed me about Greer was how approachable she was towards the long line of people waiting to speak to her after the talk. As me and my friend Griff were second to last in the queue and had waited (a bit impatiently) for nearly two hours to meet her, I think it would be fair to say that if her patience was wearing thin, it would’ve been on us. Quite the contrary; Germaine Probably realised how awkwardly star struck we were and welcomed us kindly. She wanted to know all about us and complimented me on my afghan coat, commenting that she used to have a similar one in the 60s. This of course made my day, and she was warm to us in the way a person’s relative would be when you wished they were yours. When Germaine Greer had entered the room, I felt an overwhelming sense of insignificance. I realised that stood before me was a woman who had made a real difference in the world, and here she was at my University, asking me what I do as if I mattered. I am fully aware that being in awe of other human beings is an embarrassing trait to possess, but this wasn’t just a bland celebrity with (as my friend Griff puts it) “as much personality as a pair of damp socks,” she was someone who had changed the lives of thousands of women.
This made her talk feel even more genuine, and the night truly unforgettable.
I heard that she was an excellent public speaker and know just enough about her extensive career to appreciate the effect she has had without being able to form an overly educated opinion on her.
Germaine certainly has a way of captivating the audience. Even within a full room with compromised air conditioning and menopausal temperatures, all eyes were on her. Her talk, White and Black in Australia could have become a rant; instead it was an educated, thought-provoking and at times extremely moving account of the problems aborigines face in Australia. Admittedly, it would not be something I would ever think of researching, partly because I was unaware of the issues surrounding it. Germaine Greer brought the talk alive, with perfect timing and expression, and the sort of steamroller passion that I fear has died out in my generation. She did a wonderful job of sincerely exposing her subject matter with insightful knowledge and as expected, sharp wit. Towards the end of the talk I had to swallow my tears... "I think we have missed the boat" was far too poignant for anyone to dismiss. As she famously said herself, “words stay in there forever” and I don’t think anyone will forget White and Black in Australia.
What equally impressed me about Greer was how approachable she was towards the long line of people waiting to speak to her after the talk. As me and my friend Griff were second to last in the queue and had waited (a bit impatiently) for nearly two hours to meet her, I think it would be fair to say that if her patience was wearing thin, it would’ve been on us. Quite the contrary; Germaine Probably realised how awkwardly star struck we were and welcomed us kindly. She wanted to know all about us and complimented me on my afghan coat, commenting that she used to have a similar one in the 60s. This of course made my day, and she was warm to us in the way a person’s relative would be when you wished they were yours. When Germaine Greer had entered the room, I felt an overwhelming sense of insignificance. I realised that stood before me was a woman who had made a real difference in the world, and here she was at my University, asking me what I do as if I mattered. I am fully aware that being in awe of other human beings is an embarrassing trait to possess, but this wasn’t just a bland celebrity with (as my friend Griff puts it) “as much personality as a pair of damp socks,” she was someone who had changed the lives of thousands of women.
This made her talk feel even more genuine, and the night truly unforgettable.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Attending the GRM concert, I was a little apprehensive that it may have turned out to be one of those pretentious clunky noise performances that people pretend to “get” so as not to look stupid. Luckily, it was not. There were clunky noises, but they smoothed out and bounced off one another in really interesting, unpredictable combinations. Everything sounded very strange, but not unfamiliar at all. The performance was a recording in the dark, which suited the mood well. Dimming the lights meant it felt a lot less awkward to close ones eyes and imagine suitably warped images to accompany the noises, plus it minimised distractions to a pleasing level.
The GRM consisted of four pieces. Semaphores by Christian Zanesi, Still by Benjamin Thigpen, Reflets de notre societe crepusculaire by Pierre Alexandre Tremblay and Transmutations by Daniel Teruggi. I won’t pretend for a second to know a thing about music technology, but I could appreciate how intricate the formations of sounds were, and of course how they made me feel. The first thing that sprung to mind was “Oh gosh, it’s like LSD for ears.” As if someone was dripping raspberry sorbet on my cochlea, the quirkiness sent my head whizzing sideways with word and image association. At one point I was almost certain that I was about to have a sack of rice tipped down my back. The surround sound was out of this world, allowing noises to circle smoothly around the audience, which was very satisfying and polished.
Some of the sounds I Identified (to the best of my hearing) were waves, a didgeridoo, a door and an orchestra. The best experience by far was the elongated dropping of what sounded like marbles from a bag. The crystal quality of the noises provided something which felt too intelligent for my ears. The pieces fitted around each other well, and sent me into a much anticipated dreamlike trance. This being said, it was not easy listening. The second the audience were fooled into thinking they could drift off to enya-like melodies, a warped trumpet would jump in and demand that everyone sat upright and appreciated each second as a crucial aspect of a painstakingly original creation.
Monday, March 1, 2010
I attended a Creative Writing talk today where a few postgrads shared their work, all excellent stuff, and refreshing to see ex-students doing well after a disheartening year learning about the difficulties within the literary market.
The poems which focues on aspects of the gaming world were especially good, and Mystie from the mountains read from her novel too, which was really interesting and well projected.
Later in the day there was a guest talk from Alexi Sayle.
I have to admit, I didn't know a lot about him, but I do know that he is a big deal and rather funny. I don't mean to be ignorant, I just feel that going to a guest lecture without really doing your research can be quite useful. Rather than building the performance up based on their life's work, you can take them at face value which is free from bias, and learn a few exceptional things along the way. It worked with Adele Parks and Liz Lochead last year anyway.
The talk was rather insightful, and hilarious at times. He had some interesting stories about meeting George Lucas and Harrison Ford. When speaking of rulers, he said that he believed everyone wanted to feel significant and safe- I definitley connected with that statement. He also mentioned that his parents (who were fierce communists) wouldnt let him watch bambi. At the end, my friend asked "how do you become funny in five words or less?"
"Fuck off Shithead" was the reply.
I like the man.
The poems which focues on aspects of the gaming world were especially good, and Mystie from the mountains read from her novel too, which was really interesting and well projected.
Later in the day there was a guest talk from Alexi Sayle.
I have to admit, I didn't know a lot about him, but I do know that he is a big deal and rather funny. I don't mean to be ignorant, I just feel that going to a guest lecture without really doing your research can be quite useful. Rather than building the performance up based on their life's work, you can take them at face value which is free from bias, and learn a few exceptional things along the way. It worked with Adele Parks and Liz Lochead last year anyway.
The talk was rather insightful, and hilarious at times. He had some interesting stories about meeting George Lucas and Harrison Ford. When speaking of rulers, he said that he believed everyone wanted to feel significant and safe- I definitley connected with that statement. He also mentioned that his parents (who were fierce communists) wouldnt let him watch bambi. At the end, my friend asked "how do you become funny in five words or less?"
"Fuck off Shithead" was the reply.
I like the man.
gosh
today was absolutley lovely.
the sun has finally come out again and provided perfect weather for basking on a rock outside the university, smoking roll ups and chatting to all manners of friendly passers by.
i even looked after charlie the dog for a few minutes.
with all my hangovers, i get a period of grinning immensely and feeling really warm and pleased about everything, and although it often follows with shakes and anxiety, it was nice to feel so happy and content with everything.
plus, kissing occured the night before...
he was from liverpool and people call me "fairyworld." it wouldve been a lost opportunity not to sing "fairy...'cross the mersey..."
i know this is innapropriate for the internet, but i dont give a shit. have you seen the rest of the world wide web? (its hardly 2g1c now is it.) i could do a lot worse than a drunken kiss.
the sun has finally come out again and provided perfect weather for basking on a rock outside the university, smoking roll ups and chatting to all manners of friendly passers by.
i even looked after charlie the dog for a few minutes.
with all my hangovers, i get a period of grinning immensely and feeling really warm and pleased about everything, and although it often follows with shakes and anxiety, it was nice to feel so happy and content with everything.
plus, kissing occured the night before...
he was from liverpool and people call me "fairyworld." it wouldve been a lost opportunity not to sing "fairy...'cross the mersey..."i know this is innapropriate for the internet, but i dont give a shit. have you seen the rest of the world wide web? (its hardly 2g1c now is it.) i could do a lot worse than a drunken kiss.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
everything is temporary
im so lazy with my addictions.
at this moment in time it is hard to imagine a time when i didnt go more than 24 hours without a drink (i rarely find time to drink now)
but it is equally hard to remember how on earth i gave up smoking last year.
i have given up three times this year already, and i know it is better to be healthy and miss it, but right now i dont have time to go outside and forget myself by running through the meadows or drinking in the streets.
smoking on a rainy doorstep is my only current getaway. momentarily it substitutes being around everyone in the picture.
i long for a time when i can holiday again,
i want to play in paris,
i want to surf in cornwall.
The other day i noticed that i am rarely homesick for cheshire anymore and i think this is because the time when i leave leicester for good to go back there temporarily is shrinking right before my eyes so now i am trying to hold on very tightly to something which i spent a lot of time over the summer trying to escape. funny, that.
at this moment in time it is hard to imagine a time when i didnt go more than 24 hours without a drink (i rarely find time to drink now)
but it is equally hard to remember how on earth i gave up smoking last year.
i have given up three times this year already, and i know it is better to be healthy and miss it, but right now i dont have time to go outside and forget myself by running through the meadows or drinking in the streets.
smoking on a rainy doorstep is my only current getaway. momentarily it substitutes being around everyone in the picture.
i long for a time when i can holiday again,i want ghent 2009 back,
i want to play in paris,i want to surf in cornwall.The other day i noticed that i am rarely homesick for cheshire anymore and i think this is because the time when i leave leicester for good to go back there temporarily is shrinking right before my eyes so now i am trying to hold on very tightly to something which i spent a lot of time over the summer trying to escape. funny, that.i would like christmas to hurry back soon...
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
orange snow
the other night when it began to snow again i lay in bed staring at the window, which was glowing an offensive shade of bright orange. i got that safe itch of childhood excitment once more, which i didnt even feel at christmas at all.
people may complain that the snow is grating on them but for me wet feet and soggy hair is a small price to pay for a feeling i thought i had lost forever.
at a risk of looking stupid through knowing no adjectives more fitting,
nature is honest and magic.
Friday, February 19, 2010
it has to be said
constant smugness really pisses me off... what happened to everything in moderation?
snow was big today :)
snow was big today :)
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
lipstick pintglass
whenever the topic of second wave feminism comes up i feel ever so guilty.
i remember one time last year when i asked if there was actually anything left for my generation of women to fight for, and was rightfully met with a set of raised eyebrows and a list.
it feels like my mothers generation fought so hard for things that we now just take for granted, and i often worry that i am unknowingly undoing all their good work by being so lazy and ignorant.
i spent an afternoon reading about third wave feminism over christmas and it makes a lot of sense, but as is always the case with the lack of time to consume useful information for a worthy cause, i didnt understand the complexities of the bigger picture, and didnt know enough to make a valid opinion on it all.
i cant stand the blank face i can feel myself pulling when someone makes a reference that i dont understand, or the awkward silence that follows one of my unwanted opinions.
i remember one time last year when i asked if there was actually anything left for my generation of women to fight for, and was rightfully met with a set of raised eyebrows and a list.
it feels like my mothers generation fought so hard for things that we now just take for granted, and i often worry that i am unknowingly undoing all their good work by being so lazy and ignorant.
i spent an afternoon reading about third wave feminism over christmas and it makes a lot of sense, but as is always the case with the lack of time to consume useful information for a worthy cause, i didnt understand the complexities of the bigger picture, and didnt know enough to make a valid opinion on it all.
i cant stand the blank face i can feel myself pulling when someone makes a reference that i dont understand, or the awkward silence that follows one of my unwanted opinions.
it is things like this which make me feel very detached from everybody.
Friday, February 12, 2010
dogs and pregnancy
i have been having very strange dreams again.
i dream that dogs are smothering me... it always makes me uncomfortable but kind of safe.
i dream that i am pregnant. sometimes i think to myself in the dream "this cant be possible" and the baby just goes away with the notion that it couldnt possibly exist. one time i realised i had to get an abortion and it was so terrifying that i had to wake up...
these dreams are perhaps the result of sleeping in a very big dressing gown in a cold house and drinking too much herbal tea before bedtime.
i dream that dogs are smothering me... it always makes me uncomfortable but kind of safe.
i dream that i am pregnant. sometimes i think to myself in the dream "this cant be possible" and the baby just goes away with the notion that it couldnt possibly exist. one time i realised i had to get an abortion and it was so terrifying that i had to wake up...
these dreams are perhaps the result of sleeping in a very big dressing gown in a cold house and drinking too much herbal tea before bedtime.
valentines day
doesnt anybody ever get bored of being smug or bitter on the 14th?
it seems that everybody is either faffing about buying useless presents, trying to compete in romance with one another or pretenting they dont care until they are so drunk that all they can do is send cringey texts to people who couldnt care less.
i think valentines day can be useful because if society didnt pressure certain types of people for at least one day of the year, some poor bastards would never get anything.
i also think it is a complete waste of time for single people to get defensive and worked up... it seems selfish to boycott something meant for for happy couples because of lonely jelousy.
and what does 1 day matter? surely it is the other 364 you should be bothered about?
i wish everyone would stop trying to prove themselves to each other and just get the hell on with it...
it is pancake day on tuesday, start planning your fillings!
it seems that everybody is either faffing about buying useless presents, trying to compete in romance with one another or pretenting they dont care until they are so drunk that all they can do is send cringey texts to people who couldnt care less.
i think valentines day can be useful because if society didnt pressure certain types of people for at least one day of the year, some poor bastards would never get anything.
i also think it is a complete waste of time for single people to get defensive and worked up... it seems selfish to boycott something meant for for happy couples because of lonely jelousy.
and what does 1 day matter? surely it is the other 364 you should be bothered about?
i wish everyone would stop trying to prove themselves to each other and just get the hell on with it...
it is pancake day on tuesday, start planning your fillings!
"you are always causing trouble"
perhaps,
but at least i am self aware enough to realise when i am being irritatingly smug, flaky or pretentious... i am being smug about this right now, just so you know.
this is what smug looks like.
you really cant win can you.
if you keep something to yourself, it eats you up and makes you bitter.
if you share it, you are bitching,
and if you are honest, you are trouble.
sometimes i really want to grab a few induviduals and shout
OH MY GOD YOU ARE JUST AS SHIT AS I AM!
because i dont remember anyone in this world having the authority to let them think they were anything else.
but at least i am self aware enough to realise when i am being irritatingly smug, flaky or pretentious... i am being smug about this right now, just so you know.
this is what smug looks like.
you really cant win can you.
if you keep something to yourself, it eats you up and makes you bitter.
if you share it, you are bitching,
and if you are honest, you are trouble.
sometimes i really want to grab a few induviduals and shout
OH MY GOD YOU ARE JUST AS SHIT AS I AM!
because i dont remember anyone in this world having the authority to let them think they were anything else.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Monday, December 28, 2009
"claire, sometimes i think i just made you up"
yesterday i finally had 16 hours lying in bed in my cheshire bedroom to read "the perks of being a wallflower" by stephen chbosky. it is the first time for many years that i have done any of the above, and it was lovely. finally, i read a book that listened to me.
the other night i spent the early hours of the morning watching the extras on the mary poppins dvd. there was some video and sound extracts from the premiere and it was fascinating and really quite magical to watch... nobody seemed real. julie andrews is such a gracious swan, i love everything i know about her.
two christmas miracles: rage against the machine got to number one... i ate my weight in sin and lost half a stone.
the other night i spent the early hours of the morning watching the extras on the mary poppins dvd. there was some video and sound extracts from the premiere and it was fascinating and really quite magical to watch... nobody seemed real. julie andrews is such a gracious swan, i love everything i know about her.
two christmas miracles: rage against the machine got to number one... i ate my weight in sin and lost half a stone.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
oh.
i now realise that my writing isnt worse, i am just better at spotting all the glaring errors without having yet developed any sort of talent whatsoever to amend them.
erm...
erm...
Sunday, December 6, 2009
the trick is to keep breathing
today i noticed my first wrinkles. they are on my forehead, which assumes that i have been very surprised for a 21 year old. regardless, wrinkles mean that your body is tattooing you with the notion that you have had a lot of a useful emotion... why cover that over with a blank stare?
i wear very little makeup these days.
most of the attractive women over 40 that i have the pleasure of knowing do not wear much makeup and they look better for it.... better than they believe they look. most of the girls my own age look best first thing in the morning and dont believe this either.
i know my appearence is all downhill from here. i struggle daily with my weight to the point where i am given embarrassing labels and the girls around me always look far more beautiful than i do, effortlessley.
i wear very little makeup these days.
most of the attractive women over 40 that i have the pleasure of knowing do not wear much makeup and they look better for it.... better than they believe they look. most of the girls my own age look best first thing in the morning and dont believe this either.
i know my appearence is all downhill from here. i struggle daily with my weight to the point where i am given embarrassing labels and the girls around me always look far more beautiful than i do, effortlessley.
the least i can do is make sure i dont look pretend.
quiet little fireworks
i would really quite like a cigarette.
i dont need one i guess, i just think i do.
i have already looked all over the house twice, and even though i know there arent any, i will still keep looking.
i dont need one i guess, i just think i do.
i have already looked all over the house twice, and even though i know there arent any, i will still keep looking.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
riding in cars with boys
"I'm 22 years old - that's almost 30, and I still haven't accepted that this is my life. And I just wish that I could be dumb. And then I wouldn't know better and I could be happy and stop hoping. And I'm telling you this like you're interested in my boring life."
- Beverly, Riding in Cars with boys
- Beverly, Riding in Cars with boys
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
perceptions and a pep talk
here's a little secret for the world wide web...
i often worry about what people think of me.
i think it is natural to do this, and if you don't, then congratulations on being enlightened.
however, it is unhealthy to worry too much, which is why i have come to realise that when it feels like i cant rely on anyone else to pick me up, shake me and call me a dickhead, i should just do it to myself.
being lonely can teach you a lot, and it isnt all bad.
i often worry about what people think of me.
i think it is natural to do this, and if you don't, then congratulations on being enlightened.
however, it is unhealthy to worry too much, which is why i have come to realise that when it feels like i cant rely on anyone else to pick me up, shake me and call me a dickhead, i should just do it to myself.
being lonely can teach you a lot, and it isnt all bad.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
canada canada canada
tonight i made a promise to myself that i would not let real life get in the way anymore.
i may have put myself into a self induced slumber for months in order to earn money to pursue a dream which i am not entirely sure why i am chasing.
perhaps i will lose myself completley instead of finding whatever it is i feel the need to follow.
but for now i have to restore some sort of balance,
so that at least if at the end of the rainbow there is nothing,
i have not just been watching the rain.
i may have put myself into a self induced slumber for months in order to earn money to pursue a dream which i am not entirely sure why i am chasing.
perhaps i will lose myself completley instead of finding whatever it is i feel the need to follow.
but for now i have to restore some sort of balance,
so that at least if at the end of the rainbow there is nothing,
i have not just been watching the rain.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
"Fandom as Pathology: The Consequences of Characterization"
"What I am suggesting is that we respect and value other people as if they were us, because they always are"
-Joli Jenson
-Joli Jenson
Monday, November 23, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
tears in the bathwater
dramatic bathroom scenes.
i have a shameless love of them... i never told anyone until my housemate accidentley blurted out that she felt the same way.
having a bad week?
nothing feels as good as sliding down the shower, mascara to your shoulder blades, its foolproof.
today was no exception... i put my head under the water and made a promise to myself that next time i hated the city i would go back there for a minute and remember how home felt... there is a warmth that was a void.
i have a shameless love of them... i never told anyone until my housemate accidentley blurted out that she felt the same way.
having a bad week?
nothing feels as good as sliding down the shower, mascara to your shoulder blades, its foolproof.
today was no exception... i put my head under the water and made a promise to myself that next time i hated the city i would go back there for a minute and remember how home felt... there is a warmth that was a void.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
coming back to a sight to put it right...
ever since i discovered that i can go back home for a day, the notion has lifted everything else into a tiny manageable cloud.
leicester was so peaceful tonight. the wind was gushing and pushing around nothing, it was lovely.
and it felt as though i had climbed into my own head for a while and had a little sit down.
what a deep breath... ahhhhhhhh
leicester was so peaceful tonight. the wind was gushing and pushing around nothing, it was lovely.
and it felt as though i had climbed into my own head for a while and had a little sit down.
what a deep breath... ahhhhhhhh
its just seaweed.
I dont see kelp in retail
I dont see kelp in my degree
I dont see kelp at the bottom of a bottle
Or on the man lying next to me
I dont hear kelp in music
I dont feel it much anymore
I only see kelp in the ocean with the otters
Who catch the stones I have thrown from my pockets
And wait for me patiently...
I dont see kelp in my degree
I dont see kelp at the bottom of a bottle
Or on the man lying next to me
I dont hear kelp in music
I dont feel it much anymore
I only see kelp in the ocean with the otters
Who catch the stones I have thrown from my pockets
And wait for me patiently...
Sunday, November 8, 2009
if but hopefully
when i have children i will smack them when they are ridiculous but also make sure they have an imagination, manners, 5 portions of fruit and vegetables a day and absences from school for (only partially) educational days out.
the rest will have to weave itself i guess.
well well well
"i asked him how he could still be friends with them both when they had gone behind his back"
if i had said it was possible i would be starting a very contradictory argument.
if i said it wasnt, i would be reminding her that she had done the same to me.
if i had said it was possible i would be starting a very contradictory argument.
if i said it wasnt, i would be reminding her that she had done the same to me.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
fastwind
i have spent years developing an interchangeable, fluid skin which both rips and thickens in odd layers at its own unpredictable discretion.
as i grow up, responsibility quietly compromises all of my dreams and sprinkles pessimism everywhere.
i boringly observe everything around me and only find any truth in nature.
the longer i spend around people my own age, the more i like my parents.
on some old cassette players, when you hit fast forward and rewind at the same time, they would become stuck and made a horrible repetetive clicking noise until you hit down harder on one button to put the other out of its misery.
i love useless self indulgent metaphors, they behave like laxatives.
as i grow up, responsibility quietly compromises all of my dreams and sprinkles pessimism everywhere.
i boringly observe everything around me and only find any truth in nature.
the longer i spend around people my own age, the more i like my parents.
on some old cassette players, when you hit fast forward and rewind at the same time, they would become stuck and made a horrible repetetive clicking noise until you hit down harder on one button to put the other out of its misery.
i love useless self indulgent metaphors, they behave like laxatives.
enlightenment as mass deception
just put everything into real words really, over and over again.
lots of beautiful words for hideous things.
the only true thing in this world is nature.
lots of beautiful words for hideous things.
the only true thing in this world is nature.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
squeak
how does anyone forget that they have an obsession with otters?
(i really thought i was going to get into the sylvanian families magazine for this one.)
ten hours
during this time i had a kitten biting my feet non stop for a ridiculously long time, and i hugged my dad so hard, crying uncontrollably to him that i was so happy to finally be home.
then i woke up.
then i woke up.
one for the team
i reckon that not letting yourself realise and appreciate something until it is too late is a pretty miserable cycle to try and figure your way out of.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
ice oh late one
no matter how lonely i felt when i was here on my own, nothing feels as isolated as this.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
repeat after me
i must not spread myself too thinly this year
i must not spread myself too thinly this year
i must not spread myself too thinly this year
i must not spread myself too thinly this year
i must not spread myself too thinly this year
i must not spread myself too thinly this year
i must not spread myself too thinly this year
i must not spread myself too thinly this year
i must not spread myself too thinly this year
Monday, October 5, 2009
tickled
today we were asked what we wanted to do after our degrees re: our degrees.
i said "well i want to move to canada" and people laughed but it wasnt supposed to be funny.
someone else said "i want to write the ingredients on shampoo bottles" which was.
i said "well i want to move to canada" and people laughed but it wasnt supposed to be funny.
someone else said "i want to write the ingredients on shampoo bottles" which was.
Friday, October 2, 2009
dark silk
Stop looking into the filth of the night for your answers
It might weave spiders webs around your dreams
But murk is never what it seems...
It might weave spiders webs around your dreams
But murk is never what it seems...
Monday, September 28, 2009
halfway to 42
castle
500 steps
is it just me or is everything shit?
bike lock
teapot
sparkles
rum rum rum rum rum
new dresses
french boy
dub step
jammin
freezing piggybacks
walks of shame
touchable bubbles
glowing balloons
family
dog toy
crayons
rainbows
hamster bedding
singing for a day
hangovers
confusion
overdoing it
quorn cocktail sausages
sweeping pommygranitzz
crown
mocking peacocks
carlsberg
lots more carlsberg
absolutley fabulous
too much bling
too many hats
cake
hilarious meals
spinning rooms
stamps everywhere
mix and match friends
media
glittery cards
second hand camera
97 loveloves
hugs
free blue juice
pocahontas
eat natural bars
diet coke
bikes rabbits roses
ruby slippers
trauma
bed wetting
i have never
talking to everyone
gone hips
ann summers costumes
surprises
blisters
stir fry in bed
mock champers
lipstick everywhere
thank you thank you thank you
500 steps
is it just me or is everything shit?
bike lock
teapot
sparkles
rum rum rum rum rum
new dresses
french boy
dub step
jammin
freezing piggybacks
walks of shame
touchable bubbles
glowing balloons
family
dog toy
crayons
rainbows
hamster bedding
singing for a day
hangovers
confusion
overdoing it
quorn cocktail sausages
sweeping pommygranitzz
crown
mocking peacocks
carlsberg
lots more carlsberg
absolutley fabulous
too much bling
too many hats
cake
hilarious meals
spinning rooms
stamps everywhere
mix and match friends
media
glittery cards
second hand camera
97 loveloves
hugs
free blue juice
pocahontas
eat natural bars
diet coke
bikes rabbits roses
ruby slippers
trauma
bed wetting
i have never
talking to everyone
gone hips
ann summers costumes
surprises
blisters
stir fry in bed
mock champers
lipstick everywhere
thank you thank you thank you
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
ellen and elton don't even enter the equation.
i heard a homosexual person say that they would not consider dating a bisexual person because they wanted someone who could give them their "everything."
well this is silly, because you can only give some things to some people anyway, and that isnt any more negotiable than your sexuality is.
for example;
i can smile at anyone with my mouth, but i only smile at some people with my eyes... i do not choose to do either.
if you are going to call something greedy, you should perhaps check first if what they have is in fact rationed.
well this is silly, because you can only give some things to some people anyway, and that isnt any more negotiable than your sexuality is.
for example;
i can smile at anyone with my mouth, but i only smile at some people with my eyes... i do not choose to do either.
if you are going to call something greedy, you should perhaps check first if what they have is in fact rationed.
one day
one day i am going to keep a tally on one arm of how often i have a silly thought about death and a tally on the other of how often i think about my appearence and i shall report back with numbers, and then get a real hobby and maybe a grip.
congratulations
claire: she is gay too...
mum: well what do you want for her, a medal?
claire: yes.
mother tutting is the soundtrack to my life
mum: well what do you want for her, a medal?
claire: yes.
mother tutting is the soundtrack to my life
scent
i held a skirt which belonged to my grandma who has been dead for over ten years and it felt as though she was alive again for a few seconds.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
tell me
why do people who really want to travel buy cats and dogs? it is selfish.
a hamster is a handful, any way you look at it.
a hamster is a handful, any way you look at it.
swap?
On "wife swap" a black man just claimed that a white woman lived in a world without discrimination and explained that he wanted to burst her bubble a little bit,
open her eyes if you will.
Now while i agree that he absolutley did the right thing, the assumption that "discrimination" does not account for gender, class, sexuality and disability irritated me somwhat.
open her eyes if you will.
Now while i agree that he absolutley did the right thing, the assumption that "discrimination" does not account for gender, class, sexuality and disability irritated me somwhat.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
why we like bad boys
someone who has the capacity to fuck you up but doesnt actually do it is granting you a conscious favour.
good boys arent doing anything except being better people.
good boys arent doing anything except being better people.
perhaps no women
is happy with herself inside and out.
and
perhaps most women
would rather be big and satisfied rather than small and insecure.
and
perhaps most women
would rather be big and satisfied rather than small and insecure.
diapause
triops can survive in egg form during drouts for up to 15 years...
there is a metaphor in this somewhere.
there is a metaphor in this somewhere.
the gap you dont leave when you leave
i reckon everybody likes to think that they create a void when they disappear.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
the flowers got me thinking
id hate to be a flower because if i was a flower i would have to drink the wee of people just like me.
the internet is a funny thing
this week on facebook it was suggested on my mini-feed that i "become a fan of rough sex."
as if it wasnt enough that my whole life is plastered on this social networking train wreck of a website, you can now find out if i like my porch shaken or stirred.
as if it wasnt enough that my whole life is plastered on this social networking train wreck of a website, you can now find out if i like my porch shaken or stirred.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
